Day 7, Thursday, 6/24/04
Next morning we were going to Cross Mountain and do the Stations of the Cross. This was another milestone of mine, but to also pray my 20 decade Rosary at the Cross also.
We all arrived there piecemeal, sharing taxies. Once we all were accounted for by Snezzy, she gave a little history of how Cross Mountain came to be through the faith, piousness and labor of the Medjugorje Catholics. We started the Stations of the Cross and I was honored to be able to lead a Station. During the Stations, we all noticed that Snezzy was having a migraine headache, it was so severe that later she told us that she didn’t know whether or not she would of continued after the Fourth Station. I noticed another women who spoke to her in Croatian, showing Snezzy what seemed to be a Tylenol bottle, Snezzy refused. Later, Snezzy told us that this was her sister offering her Tylenol for her headache, which she, as I stated, refused. We were all worried for her, one time I noticed her during the Fourth Station, she had her face buried in her hands, I raised my right hand and said a Hail Mary, Our Father and Glory Be, I notice her raise her head and look at me, I pretended not to be aware.
As a side note, I have a feeling that Snezzy did want to suffer this pain, that is why she did not want to take any medicine. She may have been experiencing a Charism, and that is Christ’s Crown of Thorns.
During our trek up Cross Mountain, I noticed some pilgrims walking bare footed up hill. I wanted so much to do that, but I didn’t want to be incapacitated for the rest of the trip, so I promised myself I’d do it when I come back with my spouse. One pilgrim was so much in pain, everyone noticed his ankles were swollen and he hardly was able to walk and was grimacing with every step. I raised my left hand and said some prayers, later I noticed him walking with less pain. I say these things not to show off but to tell you the truth and how God does answer prayers, especially in Medjugorje. Prayers are magnified through our Blessed Mother! Sometimes we would see blood on the rocks.
We eventually got to the top of Cross Mountain. I filmed all around, St. James, Bosnia Herzegovina, etc.. I didn’t get to do my 20 decade Rosary on top of Cross Mountain, because Snezzy told us just to spend a half an hour on top of Cross Mountain. But I was able to say at least five Mysteries at the Cross, and the rest coming down Cross Mountain.
At Cross mountain
Still at the top of Cross Mountain, I was making my way down, when I noticed a beggar without legs begging for money. I said to myself, how is he able to get to the top? And why is he willing to get to the top in such condition? It must take a gargantuan effort? The least I could of done was to give him some money.
Still on my way down I noticed more beggars and I gave them all my money, I couldn’t help it. When I got downhill I realized I gave all my money away and didn’t have any money for a taxi, I only had a traveler’s check. I went to a coffee shop and tried to buy a coke with my traveler’s check in the hopes of getting change for a taxi, they refused. I then went around the tourist shops and asked if they would accept it, no one did. I felt maybe this was my punishment for not following Fr. Svet’s admonishment not to give to the beggars, oh well, may God forgive me. A few minutes later a lady from the coffee shop said, you can have the coke free, next time you come to Medjugorje you pay for it. I told her that I didn’t want a coke, that I really needed change for the taxi, when they understood my plight they did give me change, thanks be to God for His mercy!
As I was looking for a taxi back home for breakfast, I noticed Bill Simon, a supposed Pro-life politician who was running for Governor in the recall election in California. He later turned turn-coat, and gave his backing to Arnold Schwarzenegger, instead of another Pro-life Candidate who was still in the race. Earlier that week I did notice Bill Simon by St. James Church. I approached him with the intention of reprimanding him, but I didn’t remember what I just explained. I did introduce myself when he was at St. James, and I did tell him that I wanted to speak to him about something to do with the election, but I didn’t remember all the facts and for that reason I couldn’t judge him for now. Now I did, and I approached and admonished him, but with respect. I am an extreme Pro-life person. Those of you in the front lines of the abortion war know what I mean. As I was speaking to Mr. Simon, I felt a tap on my shoulder, IT WAS IVAN! He said, I know you, do you know me? I felt embarrassed, but I did finish telling Bill and explaining to Ivan what was going on. They both agreed with me, and Mr. Simon invited me to have coffee with him and Ivan. I was thinking to myself, what was this turn-coat doing with Ivan? Maybe he was repentant to what he did, I don’t know? I politely refused, I felt that maybe Mr. Simon and Ivan had to have time together, so I didn’t want to impose, especially after my admonishment. I did notice that Mr. Simon’s Rosary was very gold, more than mine, maybe this was a sign that he was truly repentant? But I did ask Ivan if He could take a picture with me. This time He accepted, but this was not going to be any stoic picture in my mind, I held Ivan’s shoulder, as He did mine and I put my cheek next to his, as He did to mine, and we smiled and took a great picture, (stone removed)! Ivan then told me, there will be a 10:30 p.m. public Apparition and to please come to it, I just shook my head in acknowledgement. We then parted ways, as I was waiting for a free taxi and thinking about my recent encounter. I then I was thinking to myself, well maybe I didn’t accept Mr. Simon’s offer for coffee and conversation, but I can hand deliver my petitions and my friends petitions directly to Ivan’s hands!? So I returned to the spot where Ivan and Mr. Simon were having coffee. I approached tentatively, and asked Ivan if he could accept my petitions in place of Mr. Simon’s invitation, he took them in his hand! Mr. Simon again asked me to have coffee with them, I again didn’t want to intrude. Then Ivan said to me, Rafael, our Blessed Mother has a mission for me, and She has a mission for you, slow down. I looked down while shaking my head in agreement and walked away, I felt a strange peace. Mission I said to myself, everyone has a mission.
Ivan (Visionary) & myself
I then saw other pilgrims in my group, we jumped into a taxi, I couldn’t wait to tell them what happened to me, and about Ivan’s invitation to the Apparition!
Rest of the day I don’t remember much except that going to the Apparition wasn’t really a high priority for me. Since I had a front row seat for the first one with my petitions in front of the statue of our Blessed Mother. Plus today I hand delivered them to Ivan, so I was a happy camper. I decided if I would go, I would just take it easy and just hang back, maybe go to the blue Cross. I was tired of crowds, so I decided to go to Mass before going to the Apparition. Even our Blessed Mother said it was more important to go to Mass instead of Apparitions.
After Mass I slowly made my way to my dormitory. I noticed on the way that Apparition Hill was already crowded. I was glad that I was satisfied in Ivan’s Tuesday Apparition, but I decided to go even late because of Ivan’s invitation.
It was around 9:30 p.m. when I arrived at my dormitory, Ana, our tour organizer was still there, and she had make-up on for the Apparition? She was stunning. I had nothing else to do so I decided to go to the Apparition with her, since I thought she was leaving this late she must be like me and just hand back, or that is what I thought. So I asked her, Ana, could I go with you to the Apparition? She said yes, but just keep behind me. I said what? What do you mean just stay behind you? I didn’t know she was going right in the middle of Ivan’s Prayer Group. So I questioned her again, you are not going in the middle of that crowd are you? I just want to hang back. She didn’t say anything but just, stay behind me. I didn’t ask any more details, I just wanted to chit-chat with her on the way to the Apparition. When Ana left, so did Vicka’s older Sister, Mirjana, and other relatives and friends that I didn’t know. So we just chatted nonchalantly on the way. It was getting close to 10 p.m., and Ana and her relatives and friends were having a hard time making their way up Apparition Hill. They had to stop several times to get their air. I said to myself, for sure they are just going to hang back. I noticed we were bypassing the crowd and this got me a little worried. Then Ana said, Rafael take my hand, AND OH NO, WE WERE HEADING RIGHT IN THE DREADED CROWD, RIGHT NEXT TO IVAN’S PRAYER GROUP! I said to myself, oh I don’t want to be here, I had my turn, I’m sick of crowds. But I had no choice, I was right behind Ana, and there was no where to go. We were surrounded by Italians and other pilgrims, and I couldn’t say or do anything, because I’m sure if they found out who I was, just and ordinary pilgrim, they would of thrown me down the hill. They probably thought I was a relative or something, because the pilgrims parted like the great sea and even offered me to sit down and take one their seats, I was so embarrassed. Well I sat next to Ana and said, Ana, I didn’t expect to be right in the middle of the crowd, not to mention Ivan’s prayer group, she just smiled sheepishly. Then all of a sudden someone said, here comes Ivan, the crowd parted like the great sea, for Ivan. Some rude people were taking blinding flash pictures and actually shining lights in Ivan’s face, I guess to film Him. Ivan gruffly said something in Croation in protestation, waving his seat cushion and using it as a shield not to be blinded by the lights. And this is the unbelievable part guess what? IVAN CAME OVER AND SAT RIGHT NEXT TO ME, NOT JUST NEXT TO ME, BUT HE WAS FACING ME! I couldn’t believe, it was going to be a casual night, but no, Ana had to drag me right next to Ivan’s prayer group. And not just that, Ivan had to come over and sit right in front of me! All I could do is sit in my very uncomfortable position and try to not stare at Ivan and act pious! I couldn’t help but look at Ana and say, hey Ana, I got a front row seat. Then I felt Ivan’s gaze on me, like he really didn’t like what I said, all I could do is stare at the ground. I had to strain not to touch Ivan, I didn’t want to disturb him in anyway, my leg was loosing circulation, and both of my legs were falling asleep. My position was very painful, there was no room anywhere. Ivan seemed to be meditating, fidgeting every once in a while and concentrating praying His Rosary. Every once in a while a pilgrim would try to talk to Ivan, and Ivan would just shush them. It’s rude to interrupt someone’s prayer.
Ivan was like this for at least half an hour, then he turned towards Ana and said something, they both started to laugh. Then all of a sudden, he knelt towards the statue, as everyone else did for the Apparition. I couldn’t kneel, there was no room, all I could do was lean towards the direction of the Apparition, there was a huge women, not Ana, blocking my view. And I couldn’t kneel because I would be kneeling on her legs. I did peek around her to see if I could see anything. I did see a faint blue haze outline of our Queen of Peace, or I thought I did. I looked at Ivan from behind to His left, he was moving his mouth and I heard him sometimes make small noises and gasp once. Then all of a sudden the Apparition was over, and Ivan had to cover his face and emotionally prepare himself to re-enter the world, I’ve heard this is very hard for him, to leave our Blessed Mother and come back to the world.
Ana then spoke to me, she said, Rafael, we are going to use you as a plow through the crowed, get up and push through, so I did. The crowd also cooperated. When we got past the very crowded area of the Apparition, Vicka’s older sister, Mirjana said, Ana! Then she took Ana’s hand, and Ana, Mirjana, and all of her relatives and friends FLEW DOWN THAT HILL! I NEVER SEEN ANYONE GO DOWN THAT HILL THAT FAST! I tried to keep up, but I almost fell, I was forced to slow down. I said to myself, what the heck! When I finally got down to the bottom of the hill, I heard someone say Rafael! It was Ana. I said, what happened?! She said, what?! I said, you and your relatives flew down that hill, what’s up with that!? She said, really, I thought you were in front of me. I later thought about this then I figured that Ana, Mirjana, and her relatives had a special Charism of being able to traverse the hill quickly, at least downhill.
While I was chit-chatting with Ana, we heard Ivan greet us. He came over to chit-chat with us. I asked him whether or not our Blessed Mother blessed our items? I had a Crucifix and some Rosaries. Ivan just looked at me very seriously and said no. Ana questioned Him about this again, then he laughed and said yes, he was just joking. I just laughed also, this made Ivan very human to me, and I liked Him even more.
We noticed more pilgrims coming down the hill and we knew Ivan would be very busy, so we said good-bye, and Ana and I were talking about what just happened. Ana told me, Rafael, out of all those thousands of pilgrims on that hill, Ivan chose to sit in front of you! She said this to me several times. This was truly one of the most memorable nights of my life, if not the most memorable. It seemed to me, that our Blessed Mother wasn’t finished with me, She wanted to make it plainly sure to me that I was important to Her. That I did get Her attention and She wanted me to know for sure that I did! For whatever reason, and She wanted to make it very clear to me how She felt about me, or that is what I felt.
On the way to the dormitory, I was just curious and asked Ana, what was so funny between Ivan and her? Ana once was very heavy, and Ana said, Ivan told her if she was still heavy she wouldn’t feel the pain of rocks sitting down because she would have had all that padding. I said to myself, Ivan is cool, He’s just like us, except He just prays more better, and is privileged to see our Blessed Mother. Then it occurred to me, I wonder if St. Bernadette, or the Fatima Visionaries would say the same thing to Ana as did Ivan?
Ana and I arrived at the dormitory and we were all talking about the Apparition, even though it was late we couldn’t get to sleep. Ana brought out a pitcher of water and we all sat around the outdoor table watching the beautiful sight of the people coming down Apparition Hill with their flashlights on, like a river of light!
Friend (entire family wiped-out in recent war) & myself
I thought more about Ivan and why He did sit in front of me, it later became apparent to me that He was praying over me, maybe our Blessed Mother thought I needed a lot of help in my salvation? I guess I was real sinner, in great need of great prayer, a real hard-case because of my pride.
What was the message? Ivan said that our Blessed Mother wanted us to pay particular attention to the next Apparition’s public message. All in all, in my mind, this public Apparition was meant for me. Not only did our Blessed Mother permit me to be in front of Her statue during Tuesday’s Apparition, She also wanted me to be next to Her Visionary during this Apparition. It was Her way to tell me that I was important to Her, and to not lose faith, whatever Crosses Her Son decides to place in my path, She would help me carry them. This to me, was a very powerful and unforgettable message our Blessed Mother blessed me with, thank you Mama!
The next day would be my last full day in Medjugorje, since the next morning we were leaving for Split.
Day 8, Friday, 6/25/04
Before breakfast I went back to the very first Apparition spot that Joe and I found and said my twenty-decade Rosary, sort of my good-bye to our Blessed Mother. Finishing up my Sorrowful Mysteries, I started to cry. I let go of all of my pains in life, and they seemed to fall to the ground. The painful memories just whizzed by my mind and I felt free.
The White Cross marking the very first apparition was kind of crooked, so I straightened it out after my Rosary and then went back down for breakfast.
After breakfast that morning, our tour guide Snezzy took our group to the Cenaculo. As I mentioned before this is a place were young men who have drug problems come to find Jesus and get cured. It is a beautiful place and we passed by beautiful stone buildings, no doubt probably made the young men’s effort.
We all gathered in a covered outdoor meeting area with a beautiful statue of our Blessed Mother with Baby Jesus and a bronze statue of St. Padre Pio.
Two gentlemen came by and started to speak about their lost lives before they came to the Cenaculo, it was moving. I didn’t forget what one mentioned that all they do is pray and move rocks, and the young men were filled with joy with this simple lifestyle. Also the description of one of the young men of the founder of Cenaculo who is a Nun, but I have forgotten Her name. How this Nun truly cares for the young men and sometimes treats them with tough love to keep them there. The young men truly respect and love Her. People then made their donations to this worthy cause.
After the talk we passed by the Chapel again and viewed that wondrous mural of the risen Christ. There was another talk going inside the Chapel which seemed to be occupied by Italian pilgrims. Then our entire group had a chance to purchase the young men’s artwork in their store. That was the end of our visit.
I still had my dream about meeting Vicka, but I knew She was pregnant with Her second child, so I completely understood. But a couple of my pilgrimage buddies showed me where she use to sit on the stairs of Her family’s home and spoke to pilgrims on the way to a great ice-cream shop they talked about. It was great just to see where Vicka use to live. By the way, the proprietor of the ice-cream shop refused to take our money for some reason, it was a small blessing.
As a side-note, when I was introduced by Ana to Vicka’s Sister, Mirjana, She did give me a hug and kiss on both cheeks! I guess She knew how badly I wanted to meet Her Sister, and this was Her way to make up for it. It more than did! I later gave Her a small one-decade Rosary I found, to give to Vicka. You see the reason I wanted to see Vicka was because early in my reconversion, I had a great need. So I decided to present my petition to Vicka in one of the Irvine California Medjugorje Conference. I was able to do it by quickly telling Vicka to pray for my family, and at the same time I gave Her a small picture of my family. I then gave Vicka a hug and a kiss on her cheek (this was before She was married). She just smiled and nodded. Later when I left Her I felt such peace that I felt a great joy! I never felt that way in my life, it felt that I was in Heaven! My joy was so great that my voice was changing! My biggest worry was, how am I going to explain to everyone why my voice changed! I told this same story to Ana and to Mirjana, Vicka’s older Sister.
After the Cenaculo visit, around 10 a.m. the Visionary Mirjana had a talk at her home. When I got there it was already getting crowded.
Before Mirjana came out the people gathered there noticed a white cloud which resembled our Lady Queen of Peace. Other pilgrims made comments of this cloud which supposedly transformed into other holy shapes.
Mirjana finally came out, it was very warm by then. It may have been the exhausting week, but it was torture just standing there. Mirjana had to move to a balcony since there were so many pilgrims and it was hard to even see Her a few feet away.
She had a question and answer questions after Her talk, and I’m sorry to say this, but many of the questions were asinine. For example, if Mirjana would let Her children be drafted by the Bosnian Army. Mirjana just responded, they are both girls. And other questions that I don’t remember, and probably don’t because of their stupidity. It seems there are just people who want to trip up the Visionaries in their answers just to get them into trouble with the authorities. It reminds me of the way Jesus was often questioned by the High Priests and Pharisees, not to seek answers, but to accuse Jesus.
After Mirjana’s talk, I attended the Mass as I usually did everyday. During the weekdays the English Mass started around 10 a.m. and the Croatian Mass was around 7 p.m.. During that time it was very crowded, from what I heard about 133,000 pilgrims for the 23rd Anniversary of the Apparitions. The Croatian Mass was so crowded they had to hold it outside behind St. James, and even then there was standing room only. If you wanted to sit you had to go behind the outdoor benches on the grass. During the Mass at around 6:40 p.m., Mass would be interrupted to mark the Visionaries private Apparition time by silence and Angelic music.
I was purposely saving my money because before I came to Medjugorje I’ve heard of Mother’s Village, Father Svet’s charity. So after the English Mass, I wanted to give the bulk to His charity. I went to St. James and asked my Guardian Angel to guide me to him. I looked all around St. James, but couldn’t find him. Then I went to the Sacristy, specifically where you can pay for a Mass for someone or a special intention. I saw the usual Nun there and a long line. I was already very tired and didn’t feel like standing in line, so I took a breather by sitting in a chair next to Her desk before I stood in line. While I was sitting and resting the thought came to my mind, what if I got in line and then asked Sister where I can donate for Mother’s Village and She would say not here. So I asked Sister if this was the correct place before I got into line. She said, wait, then She picked up the phone. I felt embarrassed, and then told Her I didn’t mean to interrupt and just to direct me where to go. She then gave me the phone, I took it and the person on the other end of the line said, hello, Fr. Svet here. I was so shocked and embarrassed, I didn’t want to take any of Fr. Svet’s time since I knew He was very busy because of the Anniversary. I told Fr. Svet, I ‘m sorry Father, I didn’t want to take up much of your time, because I know you are very busy, I just want to give to your charity. He said, wait and hung up. I really didn’t want to call attention to myself and sincerely, I just wanted to give anonymously, because in this way God will bless you more. A couple of minutes later Fr. Svet, to my surprise and embarrassment, came by and motioned for me to follow him into the Sacristy in a small room, we were alone together. I apologized to Fr. Svet, telling him I’m just the crazy guy that you know from the Medjugorje Conference in Irvine California. He said, if it wasn’t for crazy guys we wouldn’t do much good in the Catholic Church. He also said something that struck me before we sat down. He said, you have been causing much trouble for satan. He caught me off-guard with that statement, and all I could say was, well Father it’s because he’s been causing me a lot a grief also. I asked him if He took traveler’s checks, and He said, He did. So while I was signing and dating them, He was asking me questions. I don’t know how we got around to it, but I told him the story of my reconversion, which is too long to speak about here. But I did tell Him, in short, that I didn’t reconvert until I had a traumatic experience. It seems that some of us only get closer to God through suffering, especially hard-heads like me. I then told him that during my reconversion trial I did get an inner locution, where our Blessed Mother asked me to do something during my reconversion, which I felt would only put me in more jeopardy. For those who pray the Rosary everyday and who have close relationship with our Blessed Mother know what I am talking about. Usually when our Blessed Mother wants you to do something, it is usually something you don’t want to do, and I didn’t and wasn’t. And this is when I told Father Svet, I heard our Blessed Mother speak in my heart, she said, Rafael, I did not abandon you, will you abandon me? I told Father Svet I couldn’t say no, but I quickly put the responsibility back on our Blessed Mother by speaking to Her in my heart, yes I will do this, BUT, this will only happen because You want it to happen, NOT because of me. I then told Father Svet that our Blessed Mother being humble remained silent. All in all, I told Fr. Svet that I did do what our Blessed Mother wanted and the fruit of it was a thousandfold and more, and not one hair on my head was touched. Fr. Svet then asked me all types of questions. We had about fifteen minutes alone together, on one of His most busiest days. I really did not expect this, but I took it as a blessing, because at least one of the major players of Medjugorje knew my reconversion story, somewhat. Someone came in and asked to speak to Father, He thanked me and we parted ways.
The rest of the day of relatively uneventful, I later went to the Croatian Mass, and got my things ready for leaving early tomorrow morning.
The following was Friday’s important message that our Blessed Mother asked us to pay particular attention too, during Ivan’s Thursday public Apparition:
"Dear children! Also
today, joy is in my heart. I desire to thank you
for making my plan realizable. Each of you is important, therefore,
little children, pray and rejoice with me for every heart that has
converted and become an instrument of peace in the world. Prayer
groups are powerful, and through them I can see, little children,
that the Holy Spirit is at work in the world. Thank you for having
responded to my call."
Some pilgrims and I found this to be fantastic news, because our Lady’s plan was not possible, or probable, IT IS REALIZABLE! Meaning that it has a high likelihood of occurring! Thanks be to God and all of our prayers! In addition, is it possible that the great chastisement could be severely mitigated? Only our prayers and time will tell.
Day 9, Saturday, 6/26/04
The bus was leaving around 6 a.m. and we journeyed our way out of Medjugorje, it was very heartbreaking. The road looked different and straighter, later Snezzy said we took a shorter road as apposed to the arrival that showed us the Croatian coastline.
We finally came to the Bosnian-Croatian border, and again, I forgot my passport which was in my luggage in the bus luggage compartment, duh! This happened to me before at my arrival, I should of learned from it, but I guess not. I was saying a little prayer to our Blessed Mother that this time the Bosnian guards wouldn’t check passports, but they did. People were getting their passports out and someone was passing someone else’s passport behind my seat. As the guard came by my seat, I didn’t know what to do but show it to the guard and pass it back, it worked, he continued on. While he was looking at the opposite seats I passed it back. I barely had a chance to feel relief when something worse happened. The guard after viewing the passports started to stamp them! Oh no, I said to myself, I could see myself in a Bosnian jail for fraudulently presenting documents, I was truly worried. All I could do was pray and look outside the window and hope that the guard wouldn’t ask for my passport again, he didn’t, thank God. We moved on. Later I was telling Ana and Snezzy who were riding with us about what happened. Snezzy jokingly said She would have to report me to the Croatian authorities for being an illegal alien, ha ha.
The way back to Split was just as beautiful. There was a tunnel through a mountain and a beautiful bridge we rounded, by passing an ancient castle, and entering the breathtaking view of Split against the backdrop of the Adriatic sea.
At the airport, we checked in and then entered security to the gate. I realized to my horror I forgot to say good-bye to Ana. I said a small prayer to our Blessed Mother that I had to say good-bye to my Sister. I retraced my way back through security letting the guard know that I forgot to say good-bye to a dear friend even though I didn’t speak a word of Croatian, he did! I looked around the check-in area but couldn’t find Ana. I saw someone from our pilgrimage group and asked her if she has seen Ana? She said, she wasn’t sure, but she thought she went upstairs. So I went up the stairs and seen Ana with her Father and Mother in Law and her relatives, thank God! I told Her I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye, and I had to return through security to say it. We said our last good-byes as well to her family, I then returned back to my gate.
I was able to pray my twenty-decade Rosary on the way to Amsterdam, we had a one night stay-over before proceeding to Detroit, Michigan.
When we arrived there I was invited by my friends to attend Saturday night Mass in Amsterdam, since we would miss Sunday Mass due to our travels, I accepted.
We took the train into Amsterdam. From the air the Netherlands looked absolutely spotless and expansive for a small country. When we were approaching Amsterdam on the train, the graffiti started to accumulate and was all over the place.
We arrived at the grandiose Amsterdam city central train station, which seemed to be a museum for it’s architecture and noticeable age, it was beautiful. Then we proceeded to walk out towards the city.
I don’t know whether it was because we recently came back from a religious pilgrimage, but what I am about to say was concurred by all my pilgrimage friends. We started seeing what was in our eyes pure corruption, people with pins, needles and tattoos all over their face and bodies, weird haircuts, improper dress, wild expositions, drug addiction, homosexuality, perverted behavior, etc., etc.. We did see one “religious fanatic” I was too eager to greet, usually they would be the freaks, not now. For us it was really sad to see such an old and beautiful city suffer much corruption in our eyes.
What I am about to describe to you is not to disturb you but to tell you how decadent the society of the Netherlands had sunk. We were conversing amongst ourselves and someone mentioned that in the Netherlands there was a public t.v. commercial of two teenagers, boy on boy, and girl on girl, masturbating each other. The pilgrim said that the Netherlands wanted to prove itself less uptight about sex than the United States? Also, someone else mentioned that in the Netherlands they wanted to lower the age of consent to thirteen! I said to myself, a pervert’s paradise.
We started getting lost and couldn’t find the Catholic Church that our hotel hospice told us about, so we started asking around. Also, we accidentally wandered into the red-light district which actually scared us.
We finally found the Church, but it was sealed shut, closed. We started to pray the Rosary for Mary’s help. While we were praying and older gentlemen told us that there was another Church, St. Christopher’s, a few block down, the power of the Rosary! We decided to keep praying our Rosary while we were walking towards the Church. We must of looked weird, but better to be noticed for something good than bad. Mary was giving us signs not to be discouraged. Miraculously, we passed by a religious store with many beautiful statues of our Blessed Mother! We had to go over a small bridge traversing over one of the many beautiful water channels that traversed the city with boats actually used by people to get around the city. When we reached the Church it was the same width and height as the adjoining apartment buildings. We heard that the Catholic Church was persecuted here centuries before and their Churches were destroyed. We walked in around 6:15 p.m., just in time for Holy Mass, the power of the Rosary!
When we entered the Church it was more than breath-taking, it was the most beautiful Church I have ever seen in my life. Statues and stain glass windows were absolutely out of this universe, it seemed that the whole bible was shown three dimensionally. I almost cried because of the beauty and the piety of the Church. A whole room-like structure, heavenly adorned, housed the Blessed Sacrament! Imagine, in some American Churches, there is not even a Blessed Sacrament? I couldn’t help but look around, even during Mass, to the beauty and majesty of that Church. It seemed that the Catholic citizens centuries before, gutted what seemed to be an apartment building and built a magnificent house of God within it, what devotion! While Mass was going on, I noticed a statue of our Blessed Mother which seemed to be directly looking at me, it was our Lady of Sorrows. At that time it occurred to me why this trip into Amsterdam was no coincidence, this was sort of an extension of our Blessed Mother’s message to us. It seems that our Blessed Mother wanted to show us what caused her Son much grief, i.e., Amsterdam’s corruption, but She also wanted to show us that good could still exist in the midst of evil, i.e., this beautiful Church and Mass! Also, She wanted us to be beacons of light when we got home to our corruption.
Communion was done the old-fashioned, and in my opinion, the correct way. We had to go up and kneel on the railing and receive Holy Communion on the tongue!
After Mass, we were treated to an organ concerto, which was absolutely stunning and classical, the organist was really getting into it. Frankensteinish, but in a good way!
I was amazed at the fervency of the faithful there. I accidentally wandered onto the altar area because the barrier was down, so I assumed it was okay to go there and get a better view of the artwork. A local Layperson told me to please leave the area because people, other than the Clergy and Acolytes, were not allowed. I was absolutely not offended, and was glad for the piousness of this request. I apologized and complied, this kind of reprimand I appreciate!
We saw other pilgrims who followed us, and we found out that the Church was at least 350 years old!
After Mass we all parted ways to find places to eat. We found a beautiful Dutch restaurant and had a pleasant dinner. Later we made our way to the train station and to the airport hotel. I went to sleep, I was exhausted.
Day 10, Sunday, 6/27/04
Next morning we had a free buffet breakfast, it was scrumptious, Belgian waffles and pastries, sausage, eggs, juices, etc, etc..
I was able to say my last good-byes to Ana’s parents who were also heading to Los Angeles via Detroit. Los Angeles is Ana’s hometown. I told them, my home is their home, also Ana’s and all her relatives. Ana, if you are reading this, if any of your relatives, or Visionaries, (I know Snezzy wants to visit San Fran), come on over! That’s of course if it’s okay with my spouse, (blush!)
As a side-note, Ana wanted me to show her the way to the very first Apparition Site, marked by the White Cross. I will Ana, God willing, and maybe we can pray a twenty-decade Rosary there? Just remember, I was not the first one to find it, it was Joe, and He can show you also;)
At the airport we heard that there was a terrorist alert, so they questioned all of us before heading to the gate. A couple of pilgrims had problems with their passports and the airport authorities wouldn’t let them through. We didn’t abandon them, we stood by them and prayed our Rosary. Low and behold they were okayed and allowed to proceed, the power of the Rosary!
We arrived in Detroit, and we all headed for our final destination, mines was Los Angeles.
This is all that I remember of importance of my first Medjugorje trip.
Concluding thoughts on Medjugorje? Well, I could only speak for myself, but I think Medjugorje is an illumination of one’s soul. It challenges you to see the truth and asks you to have the courage, with the help of our Blessed Mother, to make the necessary changes to one’s heart.
What is Medjugorje in a couple of words? Prayer and love.
Furthermore, I believe that our Blessed Mother wanted to place a piece of Heaven on earth, AND THAT IS MEDJUGORJE. She placed it in the place where West meets East. Near the Orthodox, Muslim and Catholic worlds, and in doing so, may have prevented world war III, at least in the last century.
As Fr. Svet has said, rivers of grace flow into Medjugorje. And I believe a whole museum could be filled with volumes and volumes of wonderful little miracles that has happened to everyone on their Medjugorje pilgrimages, you know what I mean.
I wish ALL the Catholic Clergy would come to Medjugorje, for I am sure if they do, they will find their answer to the mission in their vocation and peace also.
What do I believe is my mission? Well for now it is very clear, I need to be a better spouse and father, less judgmental, and more loving. And I hope to come with my spouse on my next Medjugorje pilgrimage.
Also, I need to be open to whatever our Blessed Mother will ask of me. I am the slave of our Blessed Mother, let it be done unto me as She wishes. All I ask is that She gives me the graces necessary to do Her Son’s will. Please pray for me that I will. God bless.
MAY ALL THE WORLD BECOME MEDJUGORJE!
Yours in Jesus through Mary and Joseph, accompanied by St. Philomena,
rafaelmarie
P.S.: Below is the link to Ana’s and Steve’s (Ana’s husband) web-site of their Medjugorje pilgrimage tours. I highly recommend it for the aforementioned reasons, plus you would be staying with the relatives of the Visionaries and have a better chance of meeting them personally!:
http://www.medjugorje.org/mwtrip2000.htm